Bubble Boy

0206 – 0925PM

It's hard to admit to anyone, let alone to myself, that I'm sad, bitter, miserable, all because I'm lonely.

I drink to forget I'm lonely.

I sleep with strangers to hide the fact that I'm alone.

I push people away to deny that I need them.

I don't know where this insecurity comes from, where this persistent fear of rejection originates.

I can trace its effects, list the symptoms that derive from this fear, but I can't for the life of me find its origins.

I am stubbornly independent. My need to be in control of things at all times have won me no friends, in fact has drive more people away from my reach.

The comfort I find in working alone alone has put me inside a bubble, apart from everyone around me.

I don't know how to work in a team after working alone and only relying on myself all this time.

I don't know how to relate to people when, growing up, I only had my own experiences, my own thoughts, my own knowledge from which to draw.

I can't see anything beyond the solitary bubble I love in, besides the fact that I'm all alone, and everything I'm doing isn't helping to change that.