T2M #6

0410— 211PM
I'm trying to make an important life decision, and all I want to do is weep.

I'm frightened and confused, lost and uncertain.

Nothing in life is ever easy, and everything must come at a price.

I know why I want to do this, but I just can't bring myself to do it.

Everything is giving me different answers; I can't even hear the voice inside.

I'm too bound by my fears, my fears of failure, of uncertainty, that I cannot make a move.

- - -

Thank you for that fated encounter, Mr. B.

You played an important role in setting my plans in motion, of motivating me to set forth and blaze that trail that had been beckoning me, almost haunting me.

I've been torn over this for so long, agonizing in my indecision that I've nearly lost sight of all direction.

But now, seemingly in the spur of the moment, I've managed to muster enough courage to make the first step.

Hard part's over.

Or has it just begun?

- - -

The best decisions in life are made on the fly.

Le Grande Artiste: 10-0411

Choices
Inspired by a random run-in with the ex-boyfriend's dad, this piece is the result of tireless rumination in  making a major decision that will play an integral role in shaping the rest of my life.

It represents my fear, while boldly expressing my wild hopes.

 Mon Avis
My first attempt at linear painting.

Wasn't too successful (I have no idea which brush to use for that yet), so I just painted over my crappy lines and filled it in to make a bolder statement.

(it's supposed to be the Eiffel Tower)

Chantico
A meditation in brown and caramel,
this image had been haunting my mind for so long that it inspired me to go buy a paint set so I can get it out of me.

It didn't turn out the way I wanted it to, but I can live with the results.

Fun fact: none of these paintings turned out the way I pictured them in my mind (nothing ever really does, I guess), but the results are serendipitous.

Still, it sucks being a perfectionist.